The Fractal Hall Journal

September 30th, 2008

Kaned

Posted by Madeley in Fantasy, Film, Media

I brought Citizen Kane up yesterday as one of those films that you can’t quite believe didn’t get a best picture/director Oscar. It’s got a funny old reputation, that film, and it’s not helped by the constant “bestest film ever” title it’s given on endless lists and articles, not just in places like Empire magazine (where you expect that kind of thing) but in the general media. That’s not to say it isn’t one of the greatest films of all time, because it is. Much like music recording technology and pre-CGI special effects, Orson Welles and his crew had to put an incredible amount of skill and effort into crafting the techniques to create shots and set-ups we take for granted in movies these days because technological advancement has made it so much easier for us. The sheer craft of what the crew had to pull off is mind-blowing. They were using what was essentially state-of-the-art special effects just to frame shots correctly. And it’s not just the technical prowess, but also the script and the acting. There’s nothing about the film that isn’t engaging and exceptional.

Problem is, that kind of weight it carries around can be discouraging to someone coming to the film for the first time. There’s an expectation that if the film-student crowd like it then it must be unpleasantly challenging and hard to watch. God knows it made me reluctant to watch it, and if me and a buddy at University hadn’t happened to catch it one lazy Saturday afternoon, we probably wouldn’t ever have seen it. Much like Raging Bull, in fact; another film rated so enthusiastically by The Critics to be off-putting. And the thing about both of them is that I was completely blown away when I finally got round to watching them, not because of the dazzling artistry but because, first and foremost, they were both excellent stories, completely engaging and never boring.

Tangentially, the film-maker today who (in my subjective opinion, as always) is probably Welles’ spiritual heir? Peter Jackson. Seriously.

The thing about Welles isn’t just that he was a great writer and actor (because he was), but that he put so much skill and craft into the job of directing. It was all about prep and craft at a technical level. As far as I’ve observed, today’s art-housey films are very minimal, viewing the techniques of film-making as secondary, as a way of distancing themselves from the nuts-and-bolts side of things, technical achievement (and technical achievement alone, sometimes) being the defining characteristic of the Summer Blockbuster.

Regardless of what you may think of Lord of the Rings (book or script), the sheer amount of effort, care and design that went into Jackson’s trilogy was awe-inspiring, which by itself would have been a thing. What made it truly great was the addition of a fantastic cast to an excellent script. That’s Welles, and that’s Citizen Kane, through and through.

And another thing, you know who doesn’t help matters? The Things Used To Be Better brigade, who want us all to realise how far the Cinematic Arts have fallen. Horse-shit. If anything brought down the amazing cinema of the 70s, it was the creators themselves, devolving their own work into a self-indulgent mess. It’s no-one’s fault but Scorcese’s that he’s been crap since Goodfellas, and Jesus Christ is that an over-rated film. The fact is, Scorcese has never made anything as good as The Wire. Do I wish there were more grown-up films like Gone, Baby, Gone out there? Sure. But it’s not the end of the world, because I’m perfectly fine with the rise in quality of everything else we’ve had in recent years.

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September 29th, 2008

No, Seriously, How Green WAS My Valley?

Posted by Madeley in Books, Comics, Film, Wales

It’ll be damn sight greener when Caerffili County Borough Council gets round to sorting out kerbside recycling. The fornightly trip to the local “Recycling Centre” with a boot-full of plastic is starting to get a little old.

I notice a bit of buzz about a Best Picture Oscar push for The Dark Knight. Ain’t going to happen, folks, not for a flick about a man in rubber. Although you’d be daft to bet against a post-humous one for Heath Ledger, because there’s nothing anyone likes more than human tragedy.

Speaking of the Academy Awards and on the subject of the film I got today’s post title from, the Academy has made some completely crackers decisions over the years. I mean, I’m as Wales-centric a person as you’ll find in the Fair Country, but How Green Was My Valley beat The Maltese Falcon and Citizen Kane to the Best Picture/Director Oscars. Really, 1940s Hollywood? Really? Maybe one for Batman isn’t utterly outside the realms of possibility, and to be fair I can’t really think of a serious grown-up film about grown-up stuff that’s come out this year. But then, that’s probably just me being mesmerised by all the big screen pretty pretty explodey.

There’s always the Bond, though, and Bond’s been on my mind. Via Mick, I’ve been making my way through snell’s Bond reviews. Well worth your time, the review of The Spy Who Loved Me being particularly good in that it’s spot-on in identifying the film as over-rated, and explaining why.

You know what, I don’t think I’ve seen For Your Eyes Only. I must have, because ITV used to do a Saturday night Bond season at least once a year and I wouldn’t have kept missing the same one. But I don’t remember a single thing about it, apart from the theme, but that’s just from watching those “Best Bond Theme” chart programmes they do everytime there’s a new one in the cinema (in fact, aren’t we about due a new one that includes the Chris Cornell track?)

As for the original Bond novels, I’ve only read Casino Royale, although I intend to make my way through the rest of them at some point. And the more I hear about the original Moonraker, the worse the piece of shit film looks, and the more I wish the BBC could do a faithful period Bond drama, with someone like Ben Cross in the title role. Brother Paul and I have talked about James Bond: The Series a lot over the years. You’re telling me people wouldn’t watch a three-part Cold War thriller mini-series featuring ex-Nazis and a plan to annihilate London? They’d shovel that up even without James Bond in it. Damn you, copyright laws, damn you all to hell.

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September 26th, 2008

Alhazred Heights: The Environmental Health Guy Cometh V

Posted by Madeley in Fiction

Click here for the Alhazred Heights archive page.

Fonts from Blambot.

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September 25th, 2008

Alhazred Heights: The Environmental Health Guy Cometh IV

Posted by Madeley in Fiction

Click here for the Alhazred Heights archive page.

Fonts from Blambot.

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September 24th, 2008

Alhazred Heights: The Environmental Health Guy Cometh III

Posted by Madeley in Fiction

Click here for the Alhazred Heights archive page.

Fonts from Blambot.

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September 23rd, 2008

Alhazred Heights: The Environmental Health Guy Cometh II

Posted by Madeley in Fiction

Click here for the Alhazred Heights archive page.

Fonts from Blambot.

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September 22nd, 2008

Alhazred Heights: The Environmental Health Guy Cometh I

Posted by Madeley in Fiction

Click here for the Alhazred Heights archive page.

Fonts from Blambot.

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September 19th, 2008

Before I Forget

Posted by Madeley in Fractal Business

Next Week On The Fractal Hall Journal:

Alhazred Heights returns.

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September 19th, 2008

No Place Like Holmes

Posted by Madeley in Film, Music, Wales

Big excitement in Caerffili yesterday, and by excitement I mean human misery. First, there was an armed robbery in the centre of town, and then in an apparently separate incident someone torched an old factory right behind where I live. My initial thought was, obviously, terrorists.

I think we’re going to need a little context for the rest of today’s post.

Prior to Casino Royale, I hadn’t thought much of any Bond theme since GoldenEye, and Live and Let Die before that. Which leaves a lot of Bond themes that I don’t really like. Hell, a lot of Bond films that I don’t really like. But that’s ok.

Bond themes have a tendency either to be done in a style I don’t like (see Madonna, or Duran Duran) or to be derivative to the point of, er, pointlessness (like Moonraker). The reason I like GoldenEye, despite the fact that it’s almost a pastiche of “classic” themes is because at that period in the franchise’s history, what Bond needed was a touch of tradition, a return to the fun action-romp. It was what was required at the time, which made it good.

With Casino Royale, something completely new was needed instead, and we got that with both the film and its theme song. I fucking love the Chris Cornell theme, because after boring traditional themes and substandard dancey noodling, Bond needed to rock out with his cock out. Many, of course, hate You Know My Name. Which is a shame. But in this small corner of the globe, I feel like someone wrote a Bond song specifically for me.

Which brings us in a roundabout way to Jack White and Alicia Keys’ Another Way To Die, and I fucking love that too. I mean, a theme with a bluesier tone fits with the darker direction of the franchise, and it’s the one musical style that’s never really been used in a Bond film, to my recollection. It gets to have all the string-arrangement Bondey call-backs, and be something new at the same time. And the drums; fuck me, that is some great drum work. I am incredibly relieved Mark Ronson didn’t get his hands on it, because we really would’ve ended up with another insipid take-off of Bassey-era themes.

While I’m on the Bond subject, I also love the new film’s title. But I am already sick of people making comments to the effect that “it’s about quantum physics or something.” No it isn’t. It isn’t the producers’ (or Ian Fleming’s) fault you don’t know what words mean. It’s a completely appropriate title, considering the events of the previous film.

As I’ve just switched to Moan Mode, can I have a quick go at the latest Sherlock Holmes films that are apparently in production? We’ve got Guy Richie’s Action-Adventure version with Robert Downey, Jr and Jude Law, and the Judd Apatow spoof with Ali G and Will Ferrell.

Why on Earth hasn’t anyone wanted to make a faithful adaptation since Jeremy Brett snuffed it? The last BBC one had Holmes running a incident room and profiling villains. For fuck’s sake, that is not the point. Holmes isn’t Cracker, or a CSI officer, he’s not a swashbuckling hero and he’s been parodied so often, do we really need another comedic take? His whole appeal, his super-power, is deductive reasoning. I think so many of the modern takes try and put a layer of contemporary paint onto their adaptations simply because the writers just don’t have the talent to construct a clever mystery or the inclination to just use one of Arthur Conan Doyle’s. And don’t get me started on recent portrayals of Holmes’ drug use. That’s a whole big can of missing the point.

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September 18th, 2008

A Surprisingly Toothy Table

Posted by Madeley in Books, Film, Music, Politics, SF

Sweet Lord Cthulhu on a landspeeder, isn’t the American election over yet? I am so very, very sick of reading about that doddering old bastard and that loon he’s got running with him. Well, let’s face it, it’s that loon that most people seem to be writing about, and I’ve reached a saturation point where I no longer care. Am I not concerned with matters of global political significance? Of course I am. That’s why I just want them to hurry up and get on with whatever it is they need to get on with so we can all return our focus to impending economic catastrophe and building nuclear bunkers in our gardens. Because “Jabbing Russia With A Pokey Stick” had become a popular past-time of late and that has always turned out so well before.

I don’t know, it’s always easy to roll your eyes at how fucking bugnuts the world is, because you don’t have to look too far to find the crazy at any given point in history. But the whole creationism thing has really been eating at me recently. You kind of expect it of our fellows across the Atlantic (and I don’t mean to have a mean old jab or anything, but it does seem to come up a lot over there), but I get really itchy when it crops up in British newspapers as a thing. I mean, we all know it’s crazy? Don’t we? It’s just a stupid thing the media wants to make a drama of, right?

Then again, the politicians have recently started taking pot shots at women’s reproductive rights, and I thought that particular battle had been won a long time ago (ho, ho). It just doesn’t take much effort for matters to regress.

How depressing. Let’s have some links.

A three-year Southampton University study into the “out-of-body experience” phenomenon has kicked off. Because we are all cursed to never learn from the mistakes of Kiefer Sutherland in Flatliners.

Alien tat of the day: Almost five hundred quid’s worth of coffee table. If I could, I would buy all of the outrageously priced Alien and Predator junk I could get my hands on, and keep it all in one room tastefully decorated by Giger himself.

Irish novelist Eoin Colfer has been hired to write a sixth Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy novel. Now, this is an interesting story. Not surprising, because Douglas Adams’ books have always been incredibly popular, and who wants the gravy train to stop just because the author’s dead? I’m sure plenty of fanboys are screaming bloody murder.

But. I always felt the fifth Hitchhiker’s was awful, and a terrible way to end the series. And Adams always said he intended to do a sixth. I’m not what you’d call a dedicated fan of his, which makes it easier for me not to mind so much, I suppose. And I’ve never read any of Colfer’s work, but he really is phenomenally popular so he must have something going for him. I just really want a better ending than Mostly Harmless. Seriously, it was such a downer it really spoiled my enjoyment of the earlier books. So I’m certainly picking this one when it comes out.

And finally, a few bits of sad news from the music industry; the deaths of Pink Floyd’s Richard Wright and Motown’s Norman Whitfield. I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been getting my prog on recently, and probably appreciating the Floyd more than I have in the past. And Whitfield, christ, just look at a list of songs he co-wrote. Those are some of the greatest records ever made. And he was right. War is good for absolutely nothing.

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