The Fractal Hall Journal

March 17th, 2008

Moviedrome

Posted by Madeley in Film

Apologies in advance to anyone trying to read off the radar in work, but there’s a lot of images in today’s post as Sheikspear’s Movie Poster Challenge was too much of a good excuse to avoid writing something substantial too much fun to pass up. The following is more of a list I found from an idle search rather than a definitive one, but there’s still some prettiness here.

Heroes

The only one of these posters I actually own. The Batman’s coming to mess you up, and this time he’s got a proper cloak.

Damn, I love Rocky. His whole life was a 1,000,000 – 1 shot, and that’s straight from William Hill’s mouth.

This poster is here for one reason only: I cannot wait for the new Iron Man movie regardless of all the good work Marvel have put in over the past couple of years making Tony Stark an utterly inlikable prick. I would never ever thought I’d see this movie in my lifetime, never mind with such a brilliant cast and Gwyneth Paltrow. And how good is that mask? Just the right mix of shiny new-car chrome and cutting edge ultra mod cool-blue LED.

I probably need to go lie down now.

Classic Monster Movies

Damn if I’m not excited just looking at that poster. Even if it does use a horrific shade of yellow (and more on that hue shortly).

I’m going to have to put my hand up and admit I’ve never seen this one, but that poster is awesome. And probably better than the movie.

But this one I have seen, and effing love. A classic, even if the scream queen’s face looks a little, er, off.

And Now, Three Crap Ones

Obviously, the approach to this post hasn’t so much been to think of a poster first, rather than google films I like and see if the poster was any good. And these ones are shit.

One of the greatest courtroom dramas of all time, and the poster is a hideous yellow hallucination.The knife, the hyperactive tagline, a logo that looks like fucking Ben Hur.

And speaking of powerful drama, here’s a lackluster effort that rises above bland by once again employing that eye-gouging lemon tint.

And finally, the worst of all. Another amazing film badly let down. And not because of the colour, either. No, the tragedy of this one is it it could have been a classic, but the artist seems to have squeezed Flynn’s eyes together. Unless Errol really did have a face that was smaller than his head.

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November 30th, 2007

The Fractal Hall Recommends… Horror

Posted by Madeley in Comics, Film, Horror, Music

And we’ll finish the week with some films, listed by (and why the hell not) creature.

Aliens!

Well, let’s face it, it’s the obvious one in this slot. But I’m also going to acknowledge the pluralicious sequel for being the finest military SF film ever made, and the first really scary scary movie I ever saw. Not quite making the top spot is Signs. I like M. Night Shyamalan’s films a lot, and this one terrified the life out of me in the cinema, although I’ll have to own up to being easily terrified.

Alien

Best cast of any film on this list. Best creature design. Best director. And in all honesty, more a haunted house flick than anything else.

Ghosts!

No Patrick Swayze on this list. Going to have to acknowledge another M. Night one, as The Sixth Sense probably came closest to giving me a heart attack than a truckfull of doughnuts. Also, Below, a story about a haunted submarine. Directed by Pitch Black’s David Twohy and co-written by Darren Aronofsky, it’s a brilliantly creepy flick that didn’t get a wide release because, I think, the studio was put off by the proximity to the fucking dire Ghost Ship. The best horror film I ever picked up randomly at Blockbuster.

The Haunting

A close adaptation of Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House, legendary director Robert Wise proves without a doubt that the scariest things ever put on film are, well, not actually there at all. It’s the perfect Christmas Eve ghost story.

Sea Monsters!

Not an incredibly crowded category, really, so 1998’s Deep Rising doesn’t have much competition to make it on this list. It was a fun little creature feature in its time, but I suspect it’s dated a hell of a lot.

The Creature from the Black Lagoon

And speaking of dated, while this film is undoubtably crude and somewhat tame compared to, well, practically every other horror film ever made, it’s fascinating, not least due to the influence it had on horror as a genre, the ground-breaking creature suit, and the creature’s status as a true horror icon. On an artistic level, the film does actually have an odd, engaging dream-like quality. Also, I remember watching the video of this loads when I was a kid.

Vampires!

Damn, there’s a lot in this category, not least the one reviewed earlier this week. In terms of overall significance, I’ve got to mention Nosferatu, Universal’s Dracula, and the Hammer stuff, all of which set the tone. Interview With The Vampire took a different perspective on the myth, and Steven Norrington’s Blade pumped the undead into an action flick. For a different take again, Willem Defoe is extraordinary in Shadow of the Vampire.

Near Dark

Oh, I can’t be doing with the erotic undertones of the romantic children of the night. Monstrous superhuman killing machines is more like it. And Lance Henriksen as the head of a redneck vampire clan? Hells yes. Action, gore, black humour; this is essentially an undead western, expanding considerably the explosive violence that characterised Hammer’s take on this kind of monster.

Werewolves!

Werewolves as teenage metaphor? Ginger Snaps. Werewolves as dark, gruesome comedy? An American Werewolf in London. Really shit werewolves? The sequel to the latter.

Dog Soldiers

Talk about a film that has it all. It’s a squad-on-a-mission action film, it’s a claustrophobic thriller, it’s a gore-fest, and on top of everything it’s very, very funny. Stupidly impressive for a debut film, with a great cast and creature effects. The disturbing, creepy movements of the wolves were achieved by sticking ballet dancers on stilts and in fur suits, which is just the kind of crazy we like round here.

Zombies!

Done to, erm, death in both fil-ums and comics recently, the living dead have always been of more interest to my buddies than to me. So take the following recommendations as coming from someone with only a passing interest in the genre, who’s only really seen the modern stuff, and as such is inevitably blasphemous.

28 Days Later and Dawn of the Dead (the remake). Both on the list for being way, way better than I could’ve expected. While the connoiseur may like her zombies slow, I liked the frantic energy of speeding the suckers up.

Shaun of the Dead

Simon Pegg is one of the funniest writers alive, but the revelation of this film wasn’t just that it was hilarious, but that it was a really, really good horror film. Along with Spaced and Hot Fuzz, this film sets up Pegg, Wright and Frost as England’s greatest contribution to world culture.

Bonus: Much discussed elsewhere on the internet so you probably don’t need me to point them out to you, but nevertheless the Fractal Hall recommends the following zombie-related goodies:

Robert Kirkman’s The Walking Dead

You may have noticed a whole lot of undead titles clogging up your comic shop like a shopping centre full of stinking, shuffling corpses. Well, this is the best of them, helped in no small way by a couple of crazy awesome artists working in black and white: Tony Moore on the early issues, Charlie Adlard more recently. Adlard, of course, worked on the excellent (and overlooked) first year of the X-Files tie-in comic about twelve years ago, fondly remembered at the Hall.

Jonathan Coulton’s Re: Your Brains

No comment. Just bask in the genius, people.

Honourable Mention:

The Hall’s No. 1 Spanish Civil War Based Dark Fantasy:

Pan’s Labyrinth

Doesn’t really fit into any of the other categories here, but I needed to put it somewhere. One of the best films of last year, never mind horror films. Guillermo Del Toro’s masterpiece (and yes, I took Blade II into consideration), there’s no way I could do it justice in a couple of sentences. If you only watch one film on this list, make it this one.

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