Bulletins
What have we got for you good folks today?
- Started Warren Ellis’s Crooked Little Vein but gave up halfway through. I thought the first chapter was great (and I think it’s free online somewhere), but it went off the rails into pointlessness after that. And the main character ends up with a superhot Gothy sexpot sidekick who contributes only the discomforting sensation that Ellis was getting his rocks off while he was writing it. I don’t know, maybe I’m just not getting it. After all, there’s a similar old-man’s-fantasy sidekick in Joe Hill’s Heart Shaped Box, and I thought that book was brilliant. Then again, the main character’s a sleazy old rock star, so it does make sense in context. In Vein, the protagonist just kind of picks her up off the street.
- Mind you, Ellis is in good company because I didn’t manage to get more than twenty or so pages into Dennis Lehane’s Shutter Island either. Which is odd, because the premise is intriguing (it’s the mid-fifties, and two US Marshalls have to locate a prisoner missing from an asylum on an island isolated by a huge storm, and the staff of the asylum are more than likely up to no good themselves) and I’ve read every other one of his books over the past couple of months and really enjoyed them. Maybe I’m just not in the right frame of mind at the moment, in that I’ve been making my way through Ian Rankin’s catalogue and I’ve probably attuned myself to a different style of crime writing for the time being. Then again, the introduction seems to be promising mind games played on the protagonists by a former-intelligence agent turned psychologist, and dear God there’s more than enough of that kind of thing in the genre already.
- Also, Leonardo DiCaprio will be starring in the upcoming Scorcese adaptation of the book, and his nauseating taint has unavoidably contaminated my enjoyment of the story. You know the taint I mean. The cheesy exudation of the terminally smug.
- I can wholly recommend the DVD Special Edition of A Fistful Of Dollars. While most commentary tracks are a bit shit, this one is provided by Sergio Leone biographer Christopher Frayling, and it’s fascinating. Incidentally, Frayling is also the chairman of the Arts Council England, and his appointment in 2004 was a little controversial because he’s, frankly, a pop culture junkie. How much of a junkie? Well, according to The Independent, when he was knighted in 2000 he took as his motto the Latin phrase “Perge, Scelus, Mihi Diem Perficias”, which translates as “Proceed, varlet, and let the day be rendered perfect for my benefit.” Or, to put another spin on it, “Go ahead, punk. Make my day.”
- More doom’n'gloom surrounding the Watchmen film. I was starting to feel a little optimistic about it after a chat with Brother Paul, who remains enthusiastic about the adaptation. Then I found out who was playing the second Silk Spectre. “Actress” Malin Akerman last appeared in otherwise-inoffensive chick flick 27 Dresses (and I bet you lot never thought that film would get a mention in the Journal), and she was absolutely fucking awful. Her skill was commesurate with a rotting, maggoty length of driftwood. Actually, that’s doing the hypothetical driftwood a disservice as the driftwood is showing signs of life. Because it’s riddled with parasitic fungus. I’ll concede that one bad performance doesn’t preclude a radical improvement, but we’re talking extremely fucking radical here; when a guitarist’s having trouble with barre chords- no, when a guitarists having trouble with open chords- actually, no, when a guitarist’s having trouble figuring out which way up the guitar goes, it’s unrealistic to expect her to be shreddin’ hot solos like Steve fucking Vai six months down the line.
